The Maude Hackensacker Fan Club

Anyone else use Amie Street?

2008-07-03T16:13:37Z

I joined a couple of days ago and I'm digging it. Browsing by which artists people say others are like is sometimes helpful, and sometimes amusing as hell. And it goes without saying: Free or cheap music? DRM-free? I'm so there. I appreciate that they don't seem to be ripping the artists off, too.

If you're not using it and want to, hit me up with your email for an invitation so we can both get some free credit.

Bandy band band, by request

2008-07-03T13:36:13Z

The debut of the band went great. Really great. People loved it, and the mikes didn't even feed back. Now, for the behind-the scenes stuff...

Finally, BJ has started to referring to us ooh-and-ahers as "singers." It's only taken, what, three weeks?For a while, the Lead Singer Chick or Ringer Chick (whoever was there) was called "the singer." I bit my tongue (when I was there) but at home, started referring to the backup singers as "the dogcatcher," "the fireman," "the schoolteacher" or whatever came to mind.

What's really kinda screwy id that "the singer" is the one to make any announcements, shout out lyrics to the congregation,whatever. I guess that's fine when Lead Singer Chick is there. Sunday, though it was Ringer Chick, who's not a member of our congregation, which means that while the rest of us have all performed this one tune like 55 million times, she was the one to call out the verse we're on, which she did wrong, and sang the wrong words. I mean, there's only one word that changes in each verse, and we'd rehearsed it, and she had the bloody hymnal! My point is, LSC would have gotten it right, and so would—stay with me for a totally radical concept—any of the boys and girls in the ooh-and-ah section. As it was, the other soprano and I kept looking at each other wondering whether it's better to sing the right words or to sing the same ones RC was.

The other thing that was a bit annoying was that in the run through before the service, RC was screwing up the rhythm and the words on "True Colors." Now I've certainly had a hard time getting things down on occasion, but this is the ringer, the pro, the singer. When you're singing a solo, and you've practiced it before, and the music is right in front of you, FFS, that shouldn't happen.

Oh, and another thing... when there's a whole bunch of people on the chancel, should the congregation be asked to "join us in singing" not "join me in singing" a song?

There's more probably, but all in good time. There's some stuff from the first rehearsal I didn't mention that falls more into "WTF is it about me and the Rev, or is it me?" category.

Best compliment we got: the music director of another church (Countryside) came up and told us we sang really well, and seemed genuinely impressed. That was gratifying, indeed.

... and I am Marie of Romania!

2008-07-02T00:46:31Z

A discussion of "whack jobs and attention whores" on sf_drama reminded me of this dude. Cross-posted, of course. I've met a few, but my all-time favorite was years ago, a guy I worked with in a market research company who claimed to be the crown prince of Romania. He said his real name was Mircea von Hohenzollern (he'd done his research on the names) and claimed his wife was related to the English and German royals. Actual quote: "She's a Habsburg. I married up."

They had to use non-descript "American" names because the Communists as well as various pretenders to the throne were always making attempts on his life and those of other relatives. This also was the reason, apparently, that he was working as a telephone interviewer for fifty cents over the minimum wage and living in a run-down house in Staten Island, New York, of all places.

One of my coworkers pointed out that T. did bear a resemblance to portraits on old Romanian stamps. He was always telling us stories about various so-called relatives who abused their diplomatic immunity by speeding and ignoring tickets the police would give them.

The final straw came when he took a weekend off and came back with pictures of his trip to a meeting in The Hague of the "government in exile." He showed us pictures of what I guess was meant to be the palace where he visited with Queen Beatriz of the Netherlands, starting with the wooded grounds and the flowerbeds and culminating with a very impressive looking building with a beautiful fountain in front of it. No pictures of the inside of the house, of course—you can't take snapshots at a state dinner.

(click it, it gets bigger)

Of course, the fountain only confirmed my suspicion that I had already recognized the flowerbeds, trees and paths in the earlier pictures. How was he to know that I grew up in the Bronx walking distance from the New York Botanical Gardens and had been there roughly 10 million times and knew the place like the back of my damn hand? I mean, I think I recognized individual trees.

Am I the only one who's had this experience?

2008-07-01T10:07:10Z

Have you had the thought "I want to go home" accompanied by the deep sorrow that goes with that thought and then realize you already are home and there's no place else to go? What on earth can you do at that point? Nothing, I guess.

Happy birthday, Baerana!

2008-06-26T14:45:52Z

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
I'm sending virtual hugs and smooches,
E-hug Nibbler for me, too!
(But not the kitties, please, because I will have an e-allergy attack!)

OMG... that is so GAY!

2008-06-26T13:52:02Z

Note: I do not, never have, and hope I never will use the word "gay" to mean "stupid" or "silly" or whatever the kids use it for these days. (Well, except to poke fun at those who use it by saying things like "homophobia is gay".) Anyway, when I say gay here I mean it in the Dick's hatband sense— you know, "musical," "camp as a row of pink tents," "Fuh-LAY-ming"—what dreamingjewel's l'il sis (the beautiful lady) would call "homosexually gay." Now that I've said that, I can say that I recently witnessed the gayest thing ever! I just watched the commentary on the DVD of The Band Wagon. It's done by Liza Minnelli and Michael Feinstein, and it is amazing. Liza is completely manic, and keeps calling her pal Michael "honey" and "darling" and offers to theach the choreography to "I guess I'll have to change my plan" to Feinstein. You know, like she taught it to Michael Jackson. Feinstein is full of movie trivia that verges on too trivial even for me. At one point they get into a discussion of whether a certain set is painted "Minnelli red," and if not, why not. It's fabulous!

What? You haven't seen The Band Wagon? It's one of the greatest movie musicals ever, and it's worth watching just for the costumes. And as Lily Powers pointed out the other day, it's possibly the the best-accessorized movie ever. Seriously, I was marveling at the hats, the scarves, the handbags, the socks, for Pete's sake. Oh yeah, it also has Fred Astaire, Cyd Charisse, Jack Buchanan, blah blah blah. But the socks... the fuckin' socks!

In other classic film related news, Hollywood continues to remake everything, even though I be them not to. I've known for a while that there's a remake of Midnight ( another of my favorite movies) in the works. I love a good screwball comedy, and it's one of the best. Stellar cast? It includes John Barrymore—stellar enough for you? Wacky situations? American showgirl passes herself off as countess, hilarity ensues. Snappy dialogue? Have you heard of a couple of guys named Billy Wilder and Charles Brackett? What's amazing is the number of people I've met who really like classic film and have never heard of it. That may be because the video was in print for just a short time, and it wasn't on DVD until a few weeks ago, no doubt because, as I said, it's being remade. With Reese Witherspoon in the Claudette Colbert role. I may have literally wept about this one. I don't remember, because when I found out, Lily and I had an email exchange about possible casting of the other parts that took my mind off my sorrow. I suggested that since it's a comedy, they'll probably want that comic genius Adam Sandler in the Don Ameche role. She suggested that a secondary character, Marcel, who's one of those 1930s "we can't actually say he's gay because of the production code, but we'll make him swishy as all get out so the audience can draw its own conclusions" types will be played by Sean Hayes. We still haven't come up with who on earth can replace Barrymore. Who will they come up with, I wonder.

Also, someone should have cast Joel McCrea as Phillip Marlowe just once. He matches the physical description of the character perfectly. Of course, James Garner was a good choice, but that movie stank... Still, it would have been interesting to see McCrea being hard-boiled. I wonder if he could have pulled it off.

Also, I admit Joel McCrea is one of my great posthumous movie crushes. I find him terribly handsome. Sue me.

And on the lighter side of the (church) news...

2008-06-25T17:52:53Z

ETA: The following (in italics) is an excerpt from the weekly events email sent out by my church—it mentions seven people and leaves out the 6 or 7 doing the "important oohs and ahs"

... the new [our church name] Band plays for the first time in worship! The band has been practicing for their role in worship this summer. They have a wonderful repetoire [sic] of contemporary music. We are so grateful to all the new musicians - [instumentalists, lead singer and one-time only ringer lead singer] and L'il BJ as the summer music director.

For those of you who've read my posts on this or talked to me about it, you realize why I both LOLd like mad and got really miffed. Way to go, BJ—you couldn't be more alienating if you did it on purpose!

Well, I guess this means I get to sleep in Sunday instead of showing up at church to sing.

I knew what I was getting into and did it anyway, both for the opportunity to make music and for the lulz. Well, this certainly is amusing. Stop, before I laugh myself sick. You're killing me.

And you can stop laughing, carpetofstars.

What famous leader are you?

2008-06-22T23:24:47Z

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Five hundred twenty-five thousand three hundred minutes

2008-06-20T12:52:15Z

I saw this on snarky_haiku (Yeah, a snarky haiku comm—who knew? I don't even remember how I found it.)

Rent
Rent—drawn from real life,
problems gripping, singers great;
yet it really sucks

and all in the room
think it best musical ever
can't mock or laugh... damn.

Yes, I messed with the punctuation a little. I kept it to a minimum, but certain things bug me, okay?

Cyd Charisse 1922 -- 2008

2008-06-18T07:01:55Z

She was bad. She was dangerous. I wouldn't trust her any farther than I could throw her... but she was my kind of woman.

I guess this means when I get the DVD player set up tomorrow, I'll be watching The Band Wagon.

Image from Dr. Macro

Villains

2008-06-17T12:27:37Z

We went to this play on Saturday called Villains. It's about a gang of comic-book type villians who aspire to greatness, but are pretty inept. The best line in the show was from a character who was talking about the golden age of supervillains, when the bad guys had really impressive superpowers and catchphrases. "Remember when Polioman told Franklin Roosevelt 'Mister Roosevelt, take a seat... FOREVER!!!'"

Also (I apologize to the non-Whovians for this), one of the gang is a female villain called Ladywoman. She's never given anything to do because as far as the leader is concerned, she has no particular skills, and in general girls are pretty useless. So, when her cohorts are supposed to disable security systems and things like that, she's given tasks like "sit against the wall and close your eyes." In other words, she's the tin dog.

Jaiku invitations...

2008-06-17T12:13:44Z

You want 'em, I got 'em.

I like some things about Jaiku better than Twitter--you can respond to a specific Jaiku (post), for example. If this is possible on Twitter, I sure don't know how to do it.

I wonder if it will really take off, now that Google is involved.

IAC, hit me up if you want an invite.

Arrrrgh!

2008-06-17T03:25:32Z

I swore I'd never join MySpace or Facebook, because let's face it, I'm not exactly the target demographic. But I keep coming across links to both, and you can't look at anything on them unless you're a member.

So tonight, I figured, what the heck, I'd join Facebook. What the heck nobody will know I am there. So as I'm going through the process, I am waiting to be asked for a user name, but that time never comes.

WTF? An internet thingie that isn't anonymous? What's the point of that? surrealmonk (the Boy actually is using his ElJay, maybe) says just leave it, but it makes me very very nervous, let me tell you internets. My full damn name is there for all to see. Yuck. They can't make me post a picture though, the bastards.

Every lIttle thing is gonna be all right

2008-06-16T22:42:37Z

We were talking about songs to be performed by the summer band, and a couple of Mr. Marley's tunes came up. I emailed BJ suggesting this one, partially because it's got a lovely cheerful message and will be easy to memorize, and of course, there's the fact that it is inspired by some folks who did some pretty important oohs and ahs.

Spam email subject of the day

2008-06-14T16:37:57Z

You ARE the FATHER!

Spam email subject line of yesterday:
Say the magic word and the duck will come down

Foot in mouth

2008-06-14T03:37:50Z

Again. Can't keep it out for more than a few hours at a time.

Sigh.

I'm speechless

2008-06-14T00:43:29Z

Well,not really, just disgusted.

You've surely seen the SockObama by now. If you haven't, there it is on the left for your edification you lucky people. Some people find the toy rather racist.In fact, the folks who make itgot a bunch of emails to that effect, and they are miffed. They wrote an email in response, but only sent to those whose emails had the correct tone. They not only say the toy is not racist, but if you think it is, you're the racist, you lousy racist you. It's people like you who are causing the racial problems that tear this nation apart.

We at TheSockObama Co. are saddened that some individuals have chosen to misinterpret our plush toy. It is not, nor has it ever been our objective to hurt, dismay or anger anyone. We guess there is an element of naviete [sic] on our part, in that we don't think in terms of myths, fables, fairy tales and folklore. We simply made a casual and affectionate observation one night, and a charming association between a candidate and a toy we had when we were little.

A toy company that doesn't think in terms of myths, fables and so on? That must be some toy company. And a charming association? Between Obama and a monkey. Charming, my black ass!

We wonder now if this might be a great opportunity to take this moment to really try and transcend still existing racial biases. We think that if we can do this together, maybe it will behoove us a nation and maybe we'll even begin to truly communicate with one another more tenderly, more real even.

Note to pretentious racist asshats: using fancy words incorrectly makes you look really, really foolish. It would behoove you to know how a word is meant to be used before just throwing it into a sentence.
The whole letter is at New York Magazine's Daily Intel.

via Shakesville.

x-posted

The Fag Bomb

2008-06-13T19:57:06Z

I love Kirby Ferguson.

via joe.my.god.

x-posted

"Oh the Mods! I've heard about them! I'm just crazy about their wild clothes!"

2008-06-13T16:08:48Z

Will whoever swapped psychedelics in for my supplements please give me back my real pills? I need them. Also, this hallucination I just had is messing with my head.

I hate Here's Lucy!

Also, may I ask why embedded video is ever set to autoplay?

Furthermore, Tony Newley. Why is there so much Tony Newley in my life lately? What have I done to deserve this?

McCain Blogette

2008-06-13T15:50:05Z

This is the funniest blog I've seen lately. I guess since John McCain is a self-confessed computer illiterate, someone else in the family has to be the blogger. That someone is his daughter Meghan.

For some reason, all the Stumblebums™ who've reviewed it (save my darling Devilboy) have given it raves.

Oh, come on... really, folks?

I only went back a few pages, but it's pretty inane. I mean, she calls a post about a visit to L.A. "Californication," FFS.

And this is funny (thanks for pointing it out, honey):

On our way home we met a police officer whose last name was “McNutt.” It reminded me of "McLovin" in the movie, “Superbad.” It still makes me laugh!

That's it. I am calling her father "McNutt" from now on. (it fits well with
'I'm a coo-coo dum-dum! Ha ha ha!")

Also, I'm shocked that she listed "Cocaine Blues" on one of her playlists. Shocked, I tells ya!

Words I could easily live without (pt. 1)

2008-06-13T01:36:53Z

There are certain words I really don't want to see. I mean, when I come across them on a blog or something, I just know the author and I will not see eye to eye. A few of them are:

Feminazi (unless you're referring to yourself ironically)
Moo (see above)
Crotch nugget, dropping, loaf, or any version of that
Pornstitution
and my current favorite,
Yiffable.

I'm Voting Republican

2008-06-11T20:39:59Z

No, not me. Jesus, people, are you drunk?*

It's so great when a really well-done video goes viral. I thought the "McCain Clinic" one could've been so much better.

*Bonus OEDILF in-joke.

Is there such a thing as anti-social networking?

2008-06-11T20:12:20Z

I just signed up for Twitter (where the IM interface is busted, and has been for weeks) and Jaiku (courtesy of the lovely baerana).

So far, I am liking Jaiku better, just cos I can send jaikus via Google Talk.

They aren't giving out invites now, but I'd be happy to give one to anyone who wants one when they are available, so let me know.

Border collies are SMART!

2008-06-10T18:40:10Z

Oh, this made me smile. I love that their outfits match.

A brief respite from church/singing stuff...

2008-06-10T14:17:26Z

because you know there is more coming. Here are a couple of stories from links on Racialicious.

A Corvallis, Oregon resident came up with a novel idea to draw attention to the lack of racial diversity in that city. Best quote: "Sherry Littlefield of Corvallis said the booth was unnecessary. She and friend Ron Naasko said they have black friends, and would be voting for Barack Obama for president."

And speaking of places where there aren't a lot of black folk, this article talks about the experiences of some Utah residents. I especially liked the anecdote about the white dude who moved to Utah because he thought it was the one place his black (soon-to-be-former) girlfriend wouldn't follow.